Ten Years

I think I’ll call it my Dodo bass. That’s how it is in the USA, but it may be different abroad. I think I’ll start using it with other musicians, see how it goes over. Roman hated it ten years ago because it wasn’t a Fender. And ten years feels like ten years…

A long time— from my family fishing at Crane Prairie, and the division that was beginning. It’s weird, but you know, the item of education doesn’t account for all of it. Maybe Polly’s family just doesn’t have the raw iq to understand why racism is wrong. Those people are entrenched in old fashioned beliefs that just don’t go away. Are they really stupid, or are they afraid of something? People fear what they don’t understand, so I imagine they are just dumb. But it isn’t my fault that they lack intelligence. It seems possible that my brother is self destructing out of feelings of guilt for being intelligent. But it’s up to him to stop his suicide. I think it’s probably too late now. His brain is a pickle, again no fault of mine. They all feel very far from me now. I saved myself, refused to be a martyr for a family that wasn’t worth it.

Now whenever I play my Aria, it triggers memories of 2010, albeit distantly.

Holiday Stress

Quarter after six. Stuart from of old called me a Faust when I visited him in winter 1996. But who cares what he said? I don’t even know if he’s still alive today. He belonged to a very radical church that met for worship up in Harrisburg. Not a very logical bunch. They would’ve scared the crap out of me. People in mobs can create a group psychosis, but it’s ridiculous and childish. How useful is it to behave like superstitious children? Adults have no excuse for acting crazy. And the mentally ill are better off taking their medication. The situation is similar to the end of Lord of the Flies. The boys on the island get rescued before Jack can murder Ralph; but— who is going to rescue the rescuers, the adults in the real world? The human race needs to grow up and be responsible because no supernatural agency is going to hold our hands through tough times. When the solutions to problems are available, by all means use them. If you have a rational mind, then for heaven’s sake use that. Human beings don’t have claws, fangs, camouflage, venom, or a stinger to cope with everyday life. The way we’ve evolved to survive and rule the world was by means of our intellect. When human reason fails, then we’re in a terrible bind. It’s just like me when my psychosis flares up. But people need to recognize when things are not right. Maybe relax and do something low stress or take a nap. Wake up refreshed…