Autopilot

Any kind of catnip would brighten my day, yet the responsibility for my mood is mine. If it’s not, then David Hume is right about causation or determinism. My dog now relies on routines rather than on his own wits. He’s on autopilot every day, not thinking of his next moves; not thinking at all. Living with him is possibly getting me down. Aesop used to be so bright and vivacious, but he’s fading at nine years old. He is just a creature of habit.

One ten.

I called Guitar Center regarding pickup installation. Their tech is out today but back tomorrow and Friday. I can’t think of anything very intelligent to say now, except follow what makes you feel happy. Could John Watson really turn a garbage man into a lawyer as he boasted? Is there no such thing as native talent? I’m still stuck on Mark Twain’s “Man Factory” idea. He was also unimpressed by musicians, from what I can tell. Emerson was a lot different about poetry and music, the things that take inspiration from the muses. The sun has come out. My maple and oak have lost all their leaves for the winter. I regret that the medication is so effective sometimes; at night I can’t even dream like a normal person. I think what I need is unconditional love from someone, or just to be forgiven my weaknesses. Then it occurs to me that my harshest critic is myself; so how does that happen? If I disable the guilt, will I feel better? Maybe we should all cut each other some slack, maybe bolster each other up for a change. I know one person I can go easier on right away. 

2 thoughts on “Autopilot

  1. Rob, thanks for “liking” my comments.
    I can’t read WordPress everyday but will be reading your posts as I am able. I like your style of writing and I am sorry to hear that the medication is depriving you of your dreamlife; sometimes better and much more interesting than “real” life.
    For myself, I just feel stupid with whatever I say or type but there it is.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Of course. I gave a reply to another one of your comments, but I think I hit the wrong button for you to see it. I believe it was on “Dostoevsky.” And never feel stupid for anything. I appreciate what you have to say. And thank you for being sympathetic to my illness. Take care and keep reading if you still like my stuff. Have a wonderful rest of your week!

      Liked by 1 person

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