Fly in the House

Eight thirty five.

Last night was strange. Aesop didn’t rest very well and everything was out of joint. Pastor’s daily email was political, which demonstrates to me how obsessed he is with the subject. Maybe I’ll stay home from church tomorrow. Instead of healing the division of the country, Pastor helps to fuel it even more. I only want to enjoy my life. Aesop has some kind of discomfort with his hindquarters, so I have to watch him for a while. As I said yesterday, I’m just sick and tired of everything. Today I’ll do what is expected of me and nothing more. Nothing really gives me pleasure anymore at the age of 54. So there’s no point in having even a Snapple tea or whatever.

Ten ten. I guess I’m just adapting to the changes since staying sober. I should give myself some space and not try to force things to happen. My mother is truly gone, so there’s no reason for me to keep doing the old stuff. It was nice to see Melissa this morning. Plus I stopped and said hello to Karen and Jessica. Kim will probably return in April. She had a rather gnarly surgery on her shoulder last month. And Angela has left her job with the salon. Everything changes, both outside and within. It’s hard for me to keep up with it. “You better start swimming or you’ll sink like a stone / For the times they are a changing.” …I did go ahead and had a Snapple tea and it was very good. Aesop is acting like he wants to be with me; he doesn’t like being on the floor by himself. He’s a very intelligent dog.

Eleven twenty. He let me know he wanted attention, so I petted him for a few minutes. There’s also a fly buzzing around the house, which bothers him. Beelzebub means “lord of the flies,” but Aesop wouldn’t care about that.

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