At around ten o’clock I will go to the salon for Kim’s birthday party. Who can decline lemon meringue pie? I was able to get a little sleep last night, finally. Part of the “pressure” I was feeling arose from something that happened ten years ago. I had promised a friend that I would play music for his niece’s wedding which was to take place in August. But something went wrong with our friendship, mostly a difference of political opinions. It is odd how things that happened long ago can influence behavior in the present. Yesterday evening I relaxed by picking up Sense and Sensibility and reading the first five or six chapters. About nine years ago I reread Pride and Prejudice and discussed it with Kate, my old friend. Just now I remember how logical and even tempered Kate was; very realistic. The world, at the time, seemed to me very superstitious, so that my friend gave me an escape from the local people. Today, everyone I know is still touched by the same delusions, and the only person like me is myself. But this time I’m strong enough not to collapse under peer pressure to believe in spooks. My situation with the church is rather strange, for they still want me around no matter what I believe— or disbelieve. What I really hope for is a reconciliation of America with the rest of the world, especially the United Kingdom. We’ve lost our credibility with the motherland in the past four years, and my friendship with Kate was a casualty.
Eight o’clock. But it isn’t that I underestimate the friendships I currently have. I suppose every relationship has its no-go areas. The ideal would be to share everything in common, or at least the most important things. Alas that the world is not perfect; but who is it to be perfect for? No two people will agree on what is right for us all. Everything is relative to individual tastes… I anticipate a nice day ahead of me. The sky is blue again rather than white. The Austen will be fun to read, mainly because her thinking is quite gray, not black or white. She finds a way to unify opposites by means of plot structure, of interactions between characters. The music in my head is Debussy again, from Images pour Orchestre. It’s a cheerful sound, setting the tone for a day in the life.