Four o’clock. I can hear the mail truck coming from around the block… Now my Hesse books are here. I’d forgotten that he won a Nobel in literature. I don’t remember when I read Narcissus and Goldmund, but it was after I finished college and before my dad passed away. My guess is 1996. Life was very comfortable that year with my parents. I had very little incentive to get a job because I had everything I needed, including beer in the fridge. Mom and Dad charged me $225 a month for room and board, and the rest of my income I spent on books and music. It was a kind of Arcadian paradise where necessities virtually grew on trees. And thinking about it now, the present is still quite an Epicurean Garden, indolent and easy. The difference is only that my parents are gone— in the flesh; but the spirit remains in some degree. Well, also I don’t drink anymore. But the overall essence is still the same.

Five twenty five. I was spoiled growing up, and it seems life goes on spoiling me. Survivors find a way to make their paradise come true. Perhaps it’s a matter of faith, and faith is another word for trust. Panglossian optimism tells us that everything works out for the best. Right now I can’t argue with that.


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