Wednesday Morning

Quarter of nine.

Jeff tried to call me last night at around seven o’clock. I will call him at nine o’clock. I have no idea how the conversation is going to go. Don’t be a perfectionist. Just call him and see what happens. Be brave. And don’t let him cut me down. Every family has drama. Try not to preconceive what we talk about. Ugh, five minutes… He didn’t answer, so I left a message. Poor guy. But it’s possible that it won’t go very well. I read a few pages of Les Miserables last night. A lot about Napoleon and Waterloo. Boring detail about history, though it’s relevant to the plot somehow… Jeff’s voice sounds different now. Lower and huskier. Alcohol, probably. I wonder if Polly’s reports on him are accurate? Why did he steal an anchor from Ed? And send a bunch of emails that weren’t true? He could be in bad shape mentally and physically… I was very surprised to see that someone had fallen off the wagon. He’s always so moralistic in his posts, maybe too much. His walk with God isn’t working for him. I don’t have the answers to the addiction problem. I doubt if anyone ever will. People use religion as a last resort because medicine is at a loss. Why do I stay sober? Because I don’t want to die. I know now that alcoholism can be fatal. This is the only deterrent I need. I had a lot of thoughts about church this morning, and it looks like I won’t go back after the lockdown eases up. I just don’t believe in holy things like angels and all that nonsense. This reminds me: I need to get my vote in the mail soon. It’s raining right now, so maybe I’ll wait before going to the store. I feel pretty good this morning.


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