Unloved

Nine ten. Todd called at about three thirty. He didn’t think my problems were caused by the medication. He asked a number of questions about my mood lately, such as depression and suicidal thoughts. I told him I just feel agitated, probably due to the lockdown. I suggested that I might benefit from a prescription for gabapentin, so he agreed to that. The order is now ready at my pharmacy. Then I ate a bite and finally went to bed and slumbered for a few hours. For some reason I dreamed about an old Steve Winwood song. “Higher Love” is on the radio frequently at the market on Maxwell. Vicki likes oldies from the 70s and 80s. I haven’t paid enough attention to the moments I spend in the store. And it bothers me that my family has blown me off. A person like me needs love like everyone else. Like in the “Epilogue” by Sting on Ten Summoner’s Tales… I think my relatives are quite selfish, or else they just don’t love me. I don’t really know. It’s unfortunate. My existence seems to have broken some unwritten rule of theirs. I’ve done all I can. When this crazy pandemic is over, I’m going to try to make more friends locally. I have an excuse to go to Bi Mart tomorrow. Maybe take some pictures with my iPhone and post them.

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