I don’t remember how I slept. The rain has stopped for now. I had one sensuous dream as in the old days. Kind of silly and not very realistic. It was something out of a joie de vivre when I was young. I will be 53 in a fortnight. I once lived so passionately. I cared about the fulfillment of my desires, but today is like nirvana by comparison. Shakespeare remarked that alcohol increases desire. My abstinence removes me from having such strong passions. It’s as if alcohol itself were an impulse or even a personality… I may also have dreamed about my sister last night. The family was going to do something on Travis’s birthday on Monday. That reminds me of the bash we had at Armitage Park in August 2002 when Travis had completely recovered from leukemia. I drank like a fish that summer. It was only execrable because it altered my behavior. They don’t call it the devil’s elixir for nothing. Alcohol is a philosophy unto itself; a religion, a cult, an attitude and lifestyle. Dionysus was the god of wine, and people actually worshiped him in ancient pagan days. In a way, I did too. I don’t know what I worship now, but it’s something better than the wine god. I’m sure it will become clear in time.