“Security”

I still believe what Adler suggested about ego and power. Is this only due to the way I was brought up? I must remember the story I wrote at 19 years old about invalidation, the SOP of my dad. The story may be trusted to be true. My dad’s mentality was security through knocking other people down. Mine was being okay by creativity. Indeed I made a little philosophy of life centered on “security.” The inspiration for it was my dad’s policy and practice of “do others before they do you.” My response to this was to advocate creative endeavor as a means to promote self confidence. My dad was awfully insecure in his aptitude. If he just could’ve settled for love for his higher power he might’ve been okay. He never talked much about his beliefs. They were only evident from his outward behavior. I don’t know where he got the idea that “it’s a dog eat dog world” and such. If he was merely incompetent, he should’ve expressed himself about it to someone. Any kind and understanding person would’ve told him life is about more than competence. Deep down, my dad wanted to be loved— like everyone else. His competitive streak might’ve come from having a twin brother… Anyway, I’m trying to sort out how my parents impacted my beliefs and behavior when I was growing up. The competition and confidence issues all started with my dad and how the family responded to him.

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